Fractures

by Dérive

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Self recorded at The Rusty Room in March/April 2012.

Dérive is:
Paul Schmelz - Electric guitar, bass, voice, percussion, alto and tenor sax
Daniel Maxton - Electric guitar, voice, bells, percussion
Paul DeGrandpre - Drums, percussion
Greg Nahabedian - Voice, acoustic guitar, accordion, keyboard, percussion

Additional musicians are: Trey Jones - upright bass on #2 and #6. Taylor Myers - voice on #2, #4, and #7. Lucy Hollier - Trombone on #2 and #3.

Lyrical acknowledgements:
Track 1: "If there was another way to go..." sung by Jean Val Jean in Les Miserables.

Track 2: All of it inspired by Hafiz and Rumi.

Track 3: Lily hands - see John Gay reference below.

Track 4: The title is a reference to Charles Bukowski. "They can have the stage as long as I need not be in the audience."
"I saw the news today, oh boy." - is from 'Day In The Life' by The Beatles.
"'Oh, God I love you!' 'So say it with paving stones!'" is an example of graffiti from the May 1968 protests.

Track 6: Lily hands - see John Gay reference below.

Track 7: Tom Sawyer is a tricky little brat from a famous novel by Mark Twain.
"Play me like a tambourine" refers to Hafiz.
"'Adieu!' she cried and waved her lily hands' - see John Gay reference below.
"Draw near the strand" - from the opera, Tannhauser, by Richard Wagner

All 'Lily Hands' references inspired by John Gay's, "Sweet William's Farewell To Black-Eyed Susan."

credits

released April 24, 2012

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Dérive Westfield, Massachusetts

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Track Name: April 12th: After The Symphony (Intro)
I know she won't ever call.
Pray for watching all them wretched records fall.
Lost my daughter to a white coat spectre.
And all the adolescents on binary injectors.
Playing the piano with busted fingers.

If there was another way to go
Then I missed it twenty long years ago.
If the path existed for these tired feet
Then I'd follow you straight to Albany.

If time allowed I'd stop these sounds
Or at least get rid of this coda
We could put a sign back three weeks
Drown our hearts in symphony
And put this all on repeat

I want one more kiss goodnight
To separate these things from my life
I want one more night alone
With you resting in my arms

Angel hair drapes your face
White cloth graces your skin
Soft smiles on your mouth
Sweet words hiding in your throat

We said, "Goodbye," at the symphony
But we both scream,
"No harmony! No harmony! No harmony! No harmony!"

Fuck my dreams.
Fuck my broken knees.
Fuck every song I ever wrote and every sound.
You don't need me around.
Track Name: This Cut Down Tree Sings A Pretty Little Song For Me
In the morning I leave my curtains drawn because I don't want to see their streetlights or their twisted electric sun.
It's been too long since I felt the grass beneath my feet.
Since I felt the natural soil and not their crooked streets.

Goodbye trash.
Goodbye lust.
They pick it up and then they start again.

While she was staring at the ocean, she said, "I feel so much smaller than before!"

On a wilted blade of grass she was a ladybug, tired and sure.
While she was reaching for the clouds, she was a falcon. Circling high above our tired heads, she held us and she sang.
Her tired lullabies all coming down like summer rain.

Angel hair draping her face:
Sing me out of the forest again.

Oh my god. Now I get it:
Ask the forest. Ask the sun. This bleeding wood sings we're all one.
Ask the beaches. Ask the sky. We all sing songs before we die.
Ask the hills. Ask the clouds. Ask the widows in funeral shrouds.
Ask the mountains before you go. We're part of this river having melted with the snow.

And I feel so much smaller than before.
Track Name: Bitter Flowers On Overgrown Sidewalks
Feeling barely alive.
Looking around with new eyes.
Old sights now seem so signified.
And all that once was clean now covered in dirt.
And all the flowers in their beds, sleeping peacefully without a thought in their heads.
And cement came pouring down and the grey mixed with the green.
And all the pinks and yellows died.
What do with all our filthy lives?
I don't know what's wroth it when I haven't already died.

Oh god. Not again. Please not this time.
I can't take this one more time.
Her hands are lily flowers.
I'm some decaying withered heath.

These lives are endless hours.
Tear them down in twisted metal towers.
Get me something sweet to get rid of this sour
Taste is nothing but bitter flowers

Thousands of caves here filled with cowards
Who can't see the difference between strength and power
Get me something sweet to get rid of this sour
Taste is nothing but bitter flowers

Gathered sticks for a fire to make clear
All the things I've seen in the past three years
but this cement is still so overgrown
And I'm still lost, far from home.

You know that I dreamt from the tops of the roads
That I was nothing but a bird blown
In a storm before I crashed my car
And broke my bones
And sank to the warm waters below.
Track Name: They Can Have The Stage (As Long As I Don't Have To Be In The Audience)
If you cannot find everything that you need inside of this
Then meet me at the black top ball
For suicide in piano strings
Like trees without bark
Like songs we cannot sing
These halls are inaccessible.
These birds have lost their wings.

If you cannot find everything that you want inside this act
Then set your fucking hair on fire
And burn your skin until it's black.
Like trees without bark
Like songs we cannot sing
These halls are inaccessible.
These birds have lost their wings.

I feel more dead than alive
My body's burn to carbon that smoke scorched the sky
I wander aural hallways in search of a light
But all I can find is I can't escape the night

Sick as birth.
Sick as thirst.
Pure like dying.

They can have this stage, but rest assured I'm not watching now.

I want to pull the plug.
Sing me outta here.

And I saw the news today, oh boy.
Thousands of tiny notes grew wings and flew away.

These strangled trees are singing death harmony.
Like, "Oh my god! I love you!"
So say it with paving stones.

Tonal facade.
Aural faux pas.
Burn it.
Track Name: Dying Dreams of the Last Hummingbird
Can someone take me home tonight?
I'm far too tired to go it alone.
And it's too late to wonder why
Everyone else has reaped the rewards of the seeds I haven't sewn.

Can someone hold me close tonight?
Someone with lily hands and a warm soul.
Help me out. We all know that I can't fly.
Pick me up and just take me home.

Lying here like an old car rusting.
Well there's something here but I've only found nothing.
If you held me close you'd hear my heart thumping.
It'd be nice for once to just feel something.

And I saw a hummingbird fall from a tree.
And I picked it up in sordid ecstasy.
It said, "Hey there stranger. This is my last dream.
Please make sure I go home tonight with someone other than me."

Her hands are lily flowers and her heart's like water.
Her eyes are like a forest filled with life and love and other great things.
And I'm some blasted heath. I'm some decaying withered leaves.
Doomed to fail like the season's first frost.
Please don't follow me. I'm lost.

There's no need to worry.
There's no need to breathe.
Because I'm in a dead space where there's no fucking trees.
My wings are broken and she flew away
Well I am where I am but I'm not gonna stay.
I fell to the ground to rest with the leaves.
I fell too far away from her face so sweet.
Kiss me on the cheek and I'll start to feel alright.
Please someone take me home tonight.
Track Name: Paranoia Footsteps Split the Wailing Night
This is the sound of a broken road.
It's a dying place by which we built our homes.
If you really need to scream as you feel so alone
Then this truly is a sound for wandering souls.

Oh Tom Sawyer, this is much less fun than you said at first
Your fence is cacophony.
And I see nothing but fields of dying trees.
And cancer sucking life from flowers like a fucking week.
Yeah she's 19 and genuflects to her king
And I've been given a tambourine to play
But I can't find a stage on which to sing.

Drink your songs like poison.
All the food is poison.
Lost in a dying machine
Play me like a tambourine
Against your warm thigh.
A tender sigh.
Gazing in comfort at a gentle sky.
Before my dreams all start to die
I'm staring her eye to eye.

Aren't these strings perpetually bowed?
Aren't these strings ringing an unknown code?
"Adieu" she cried and waved her lily hands.
And I took the road, saw every paving stone.
And I never saw her pretty face again.

Open my eyes.
Draw near the strand.
Open my ears.
Draw near the strand.
All sense erased.
Now it's regained.
Draw near the strand.
Relive the pain.

We don't have our skin or bones.
Kill it. Kill it.
All my thoughts on overload.
Rusty beaches in rusty code.
Kill it.

I remember every face she ever made and every smile that she ever cracked.
I remembrer every time we held each other as we watched it all collapse.
The trees were painted on the sky and the night was glowing blue.
Tom Sawyer was making promises which should've come as a clue.
I remember every time I tried to pull it back and failed on every try.
I remember all the angel hair draping her face and her screaming goodbye.
All the grass that lost its luster. And all the clouds that forebode.
I had nowhere to go so I chose this dying fucking broken road.

This is the sound of a miracle.
Just a small example like a parable.
So if you really need to scream as you feel so alone
Then this truly is a sound for wandering souls.

I got lost in a daydream.

Call a toast.
One last time.
To the dying host.
Like a nursery rhyme.
Raise a glass.
To the tonal facade.
Cheer all night.
For the aural faux pas.
Twist and shout.
Close your eyelids.
Move around.
Like a hungry virus.
Set fire to the wax
And feel the flesh burn.
Tear off your wings like a failing nocturne.

I know she won't ever call.
Pray for watching all them records fall.
I lost my daughter to a white coat spectre.
All the adolescents on binary injectors.

Playing the piano with busted fingers:
I feel sick.